I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
