Already got asked if we're dating
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
