I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
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