In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
