He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
