Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
