I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
