He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize