dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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