Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize