i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
