i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
