Tell her she can't have a vagina
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
