Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Randomize
