were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize