Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
