I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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