while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
