I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
