Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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