we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
