Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize