State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Randomize
