i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
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