Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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