and you said cock pushups were impossible
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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