I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Randomize
