I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
