Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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