It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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