piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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