CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
