sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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