I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Also, beer. Big fan.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
