Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
