i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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