I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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