Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
