love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
