I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
