Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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