i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
