Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
