there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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