p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
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