i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
