Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
