Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
