I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
