am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
