I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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