on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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