Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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