There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
So apparently I’m into choking now
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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