I wish my penis had an off switch
i think i have two assholes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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