unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
