i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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