finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
