we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
