And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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