You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Randomize
