I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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