i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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