yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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